I have been in tears today for two different reasons; complete exhaustion and complete joy. I woke up this morning knowing how the day would pan out. The same as every day at the moment with P1 and P2. There would be arguments, there would be tears, there would be fights between them and the battle would continue strong as ever.
We’ve been struggling with P1 for a few weeks but this week seems to have hit rock bottom. She takes after her mother with regards to her attitude. It hurts so bad to see her like this. Unresponsive and without a care in the world for the things she is doing that she knows is wrong.
It’s not actually her behaviour specifically that is wearing me down as such. It’s being constantly pulled in every direction. I’m juggling arguments and discipline between P1 and P2 as they find their boundaries with each other and learn how to get along as sisters whilst attending to every little need of P3, who is firmly a mummy’s girl and only mummy will do. I also have a mountain of housework and blog work that needs and has to be done at some point.
By 6pm tonight I just couldn’t deal with anymore of the naughty behaviour and sent P1 to bed where of course she carried on kicking up a fuss. P3 was asleep by 7pm. I found myself sitting by her cot completely exhausted and feeling slightly suffocated.
But that brings me on to the sudden switch of emotions. P2 was still downstairs with Hubby, wide awake as she’d asked for a nap at 2:30 and didn’t wake until 5pm. She was quite happy though and I was able to sit and play building bricks with her completely alone. It was lovely.
I then cooked a Woodland Fruits Strudle and served it with icecream. Hubby, P2 and I sat huddled together watching Britains Got Talent. A sudden rush of happiness and pride came over me. She was being such a joy to have around and to hold close. She kept saying “I love you mummy. I love you daddy”.
P2 is constantly caught up in the fiasco and being taught bad things too. I needed the special moments we shared tonight. It’s lifted my desperation and upset of the day. I know deep down that all my girls are such amazing little humans. We all have bad times and we certainly can’t be perfect every second of the day.