I have a changed child today. She’s been amazing!
As parents we all have our days when we could quite happily lock ourselves in the bathroom and cry. Then we have the days when we look at our children and feel that overwhelming feeling of proudness.
Today I felt that. I’ve really needed her to behave today and that’s exactly what she’s done and more! Sometimes I wonder if she’s really only 4 years old. She ate her lunch with no fuss, has taken herself to the toilet regularly without being prompted, eaten her fruit and helped me reach things like my shoes.
Mr Postman ruined my happy mood at about 11am by delivering a letter from the CSA (Child Support Agency). I’ve been a little on edge and close to tears. It was a good letter – for me. But it just brings up the past. A past I cannot change. So many thoughts go rattling around my brain all at once and with my fragile emotional state at the moment it’s not been easy keeping the tears at bay. My poor OH will probably have a very wet shoulder tonight.
To top things off… I think I’ve found some appearing stretch marks on my belly!!!!!!!! Well I found them last night and yes I was a big baby and ended up in tears. I know everyone calls them the war wounds of pregnancy blah blah. Yes – they fade. Yes – most mothers get them. But that doesn’t make them any prettier does it!
With P1 I only got stretch marks on my boobs and then after she was born I had a couple of small ones appear on my bottom?! This time; no new ones on my boobs as they’ve just grown to the same size so far. Quite a few on both my outside thighs. One on top of belly button piercing scar. And now a couple on my belly that are appearing.
I don’t care about my thighs… Weirdly. My belly devastates me 🙁
I took this picture earlier as a different angle to my belly… I look massive!!!! But I actually quite like the photo itself.
I saw my midwife today. P2 is head down still but not engaged yet. Although apparently that’s normal for second pregnancies. P1 heard her little sisters heartbeat too and her face was a picture. She’s constantly talking about her and I think she’s definitely as excited as everyone else for the new arrival.
Midwife reckons I’ll pop within a week as I’m so big. I personally think I’ll end up going overdue seeing as we all thought I’d be early and I have proved them wrong with that.