To my Toddler,
As you throw yourself around the room with legs flailing because you weren’t allowed an ice cream at 7am, I feel myself getting frustrated already.
The tears are falling from the argument we’ve had over milk and you have been shrieking for over 20 minutes.
You smacked me square in the nose so I told you off and sent you to the naughty step. It sounds like I’m torturing you.
Then there was the time we went to playgroup, a happy experience I thought, but before I’d even managed to get you out of your pram you were howling the small hall down and everyone was staring. I tried to ignore you, to not entertain you but the burning from the spectating eyes was too much and for my sanity I needed you to just stop. You cried for well over 10 minutes before I managed to distract you.
Our daily life now has changed. It’s including at least three major tantrums each day. I feel worn out by you, frustrated and angry.
But, my Toddler, I have to remind myself that you are probably feeling this frustration and anger too.
You don’t understand how to express your feelings in the right way yet. You don’t understand that you can’t eat icecream in the mornings and that smacking me or anyone else is not the right behaviour.
You are trying so hard to show me how you feel. We clash but this is ok. It’s ok for us to have these moments of insanity. By tantruming you are learning about life, about me and importantly about yourself.
I have to learn to forgive these moments. Know that you don’t mean it. Understand that it’ll be over within a flash and that I should cherish these tantrums in the strangest sense, because one day you’ll be going through the same with your children and I’ll be able to reassure you that you’ll make it. I did.
So Toddler. I’m here. When you’re kicking, throwing, screaming, biting and demanding. I’m here. I’m going through it with you.
Love Mummy x