Tonight

Tonight, I’ve had a little too much to drink.
Tonight, I’m on cold nine.
Tonight, I have the whole future with my OH ahead of me.
Tonight, I’m wearing my beautiful white dress.
Tonight, I have the biggest grin on my face.
Tonight, I have a wedding ring on my finger.
Tonight, I’m watching my two beautiful girls in their bridesmaid dresses.
Tonight, my guests are showering me with congratulations and love.
Tonight, my Husband is gazing at me adoringly.
Tonight, my husband is not letting me go.
Tonight, we are going to be tucked up in a beautiful hotel, laughing and crying with happiness.
Tonight, I’m wearing sexy underwear.
Tonight, I’m going to bed a different woman, a wife and a mother.

I was meant to be doing all of this. Instead tonight I’m upset, frustrated and angry. That moment we were told we couldn’t renew our lease with our landlord because he had financial struggles and needed to move back to his house, our future, my dreams were shattered.

I had to cancel our wedding. Cancel the registrar. Cancel everything.

Less than 6 months ago I was getting married today. 13th May 2013. In an amazing venue with my whole family, my daughters and my handsome OH.

Tonight, I’m wearing the usual pjs.
Tonight, my OH is on his iPad.
Tonight, our baby is snuggled between us.
Tonight, we are in silence whilst we chill out.
Tonight, I’m still engaged.
Tonight, is just another night.

Sad face.

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2 comments

  1. Poor you 🙁 but these things happen for a reason and when you’re able to finally get married after the postponement it’ll be even more amazing than you dreamed it would be. Hope you can plan for it again soon xxx

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