Sleep Deprivation Is Actual Torture

I was teased whilst we were in America. I experienced five days of what my life probably should be like by now. I put the girls to bed and didn’t hear from them until morning. In other words I had four full nights of sleep. I don’t think I really got to feel the benefits though as jet lag kicked in and the girls routines fell to pieces.

We’ve been back for nearly four weeks and our sleep patterns are worse than ever before. Every single time I used to moan about not getting enough sleep and feeling sleep deprived, was an absolute joke compared to the way I feel right this second. And it’s only getting worse by the day.

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It went from P2 and P3 staying up late and waking early from the jet lag. Then it was the pair of them waking twice each at different times. This is normal for P2 but not P3, she has slept through solidly for over six months. But in the past two weeks we were all hit by a sickness bug followed by a horrendous cold too. This has thrown us all out and I’ve actually forgotten what it feels like to have at least two hours of solid sleep in one go. P3 has been the worst, she’s been waking every 30-60 minutes and sometimes less every single night for about two weeks.

I thought my body had got used to being disrupted during the night time. But I honestly think it’s just been switched to auto pilot and I’m walking around in a bit of a zombie like state not really knowing what’s going on. I am forgetting to hand in letters or permission slips to the school, my blog work is just not getting done because I am falling asleep at my laptop every time I try. I have all these things I need to plan and get ready for Christmas but my body is just not allowing it.

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It’s actually quite scary the effect that lack of sleep has. I even went out recently leaving our front door wide open. We were extremely lucky to come back with stuff untouched considering we live on a busy main road. But I honestly remember locking it or at least shutting it. I have been known to move the girls when they were little, into our bed and I would wake to find them sleeping peacefully next to me. My recent functionings are just scarier than ever though. I am beginning to wonder if my girls have forgotten what it’s like to sleep and whether I will ever feel normal again with eyeballs that don’t ache and sting by lunch time.

Please, somebody remind me what it’s like to be a normal human being and that this phase is just a phase?

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4 comments

  1. Oh bless you my darling, i completely understand. Megan has been ill on and off since she was two- problems with her colon. She didn’t sleep well as a baby which really should have been an indicator!

    I used to go into uni having had no sleep, we’d catch the bus to town, then another to drop her off with my in laws, then a bus back into town to go to uni. Then i’d catch a bus to the school i was TAing at, teach, catch the bus back to town, walk the rest of the way to uni, go to lectures and such, catch the bus to my in laws and basically fall asleep on the top deck of the bus but be in a constant state of half asleep/ half waking because well… i was sleeping on a bus!

    I ended up with sleep paralysis which was just horrible and even now i still suffer from it: Megan is now nearly nine years old.

    Last year was the worst year for her problems, she was out of school for three months and in so much pain that she was scared to go to sleep because the pain often woke her up. We didn’t have a proper nights in about 5 weeks until she saw a specialist who gave her some really helpful medicine, i was walking around like a zombie with a permanent feeling unease, i had a short temper and felt sick constantly!!

    I too always find that sleep happens much easier while you are aware, i would say perhaps the activities they do while you’re away tire them out enough to sleep better but you do plenty of things with them while you aren’t on holiday so i’d have to put the better sleep then down to the adrenaline and excitement of being away.

    I wish i had an actual piece of advice to give you that i knew worked wonders and i hope that someone has some to impart as i’d be keen to know what it is!! hahaha.

    • Oh my goodness. I have no idea how you have coped! I just hope that mine is a temporary problem. Thank you so much for leaving such a lovely comment, I really appreciate it.

  2. IT IS JUST A PHASE but it’s a god damn awful one. I so hope you get some rest soon x

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