“I had made the definite decision not to cosleep with P3”

Cosleeping with P2 was not a conscious decision that we’d made. It just happened and we managed to get more sleep despite having a leg in our ribs or our eyes getting poked out. We coslept for around a year on and off. Although it worked for us, I had made the definite decision not to cosleep with P3 under any circumstances.

Having the SnuzPod helped us do this. She was close enough to touch but far enough to give us our own space. Since moving in to her own big cot bed her sleep hasn’t been so great and by morning we have a little visitor in our bed. My hopes completely shattered of not having to share my bed with anyone but my husband.

I can’t deny the reason she comes into bed is purely because she sleeps better. Kind of. But I certainly don’t and I’m not sure hubby does either. But standing, freezing cold over her cot trying to settle her in the pitch black for any long than 5 minutes is just too difficult to cope with when you’re half asleep too. So out she comes and into our bed she goes.

Depending on where hubby is positioned in bed determines where P3 goes. If there’s enough space for me to snuggle up next to him and P3 not fall out the bed, then I’ll go in the middle. But the majority of the time hubby is hogging the bed so P3 goes in the middle and I pretty much hang out of the side right at the bottom of the bed. It’s not ideal.

One thing that’s very different about P3 compared to P2 is that she will wake screaming. Not crying. Screaming. It’s terrifying when you’re in a deep sleep. My immediate panic is that someone has rolled onto her. But nope, she does this. She does this especially when it’s time to wake up and then everything is rushed to stop her from crying, get out of bed and go to the toilet myself without her screaming. 

I don’t like cosleeping. I’m not an “embrace the hugs” type of mother. Or type of person having said that. I crave to have my own bed space back. To be able to stretch out as much as hubby will allow. To sleep undisturbed, warm in my duvet, without dead arms. Along with the milk situation of both P2 and P3, this cosleeping stuff with P3 has got to be conquered somehow. 

I feel like my life is on a constant “they’ll grow out of it” but I don’t feel that’s a good enough explanation. I need well routined, good sleeping children for me to be the best mum I can be. Right now I’m in a haze of exhaustion drinking hot chocolate in my fluffy socks.

2015-12-08 21.12.23

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14 comments

  1. Ahh, I feel for you! I coslept with my daughter for a while but she’s such a wriggler, we hardly had any sleep! We had a bednest for her first 6 months but she slept much better physically in my bed! It’s a phase, it’s so easy to say but you have to have hope! xx

  2. I haven’t co slept with any of my 3, I love my sleep and I cannot deal with feet in my ribs all night. Don’t get me wrong, if they are ill all I want is for them to be close with me so I can keep an eye on them so they will sleep with me then.

  3. L refuses to co-sleep. But it’s so hard for get out of a habit even if you don’t like it – when you are barely surviving on a small amount of sleep you do whatever you can to make things easier. I hope you find a way around it, in the mean one that hot chocolate looks amazing. Xxx

  4. I let Pickle in with me – usually he comes in at any point during the night. I’m in my own though and love the snuggles! I was dead against it with my others though. Hope it improves for you soon. Kaz x

  5. We haven’t really done this with either of ours, although actually I wouldn’t be adverse to it because I am quite a hippy mother – we use cloth nappies and slings – but it just hasn’t worked out like that for us, I’m not even sure why. But I totally relate to the waking up screaming thing – my youngest is a nightmare for this, it frightens the life out of me even over the baby monitor. It must be even worse when she’s screaming directly in your earhole! I hope you manage to find the elusive thing they call sleep soon.x

  6. I know exactl how you feel. Sleeping with the if just so much easier sometimes. When lamb is in our bed he will sleep through the night. Last night he woke up 4 or 5 times for no reason! It’s going to be really tiring when baby2 arrives x

    • lifewithpinkprincesses

      We found our baby 2 moved out of our bed when I was pregnant. Naturally. She won’t come in now even when ill.

  7. I ended up co sleeping with Amelia for about 6 months and it was worse sleep than when she was a newborn. Decided to move her into a bed and just tackle it and she sleeps well now. The nights trying to settle them when your half asleep are so hard I totally get what you mean when you say it’s easier to bring them in there exactly what I used to do! I think they will grow out of it or you just have to suffer a few nights of rubbish! Xx

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