It’s been over a month since you’ve been gone and so much has changed.
I don’t know who to talk to anymore because nobody listened and answered in the way you did. I need you now more than ever to tell me everything’s going to be ok.
I hope I did you proud at your funeral. I knew you wouldn’t want us to cry but it just happened.
P1 misses you so much. She talks about you all the time, something came through the door today about nurses coming to your house, P1 said that great nanny would need that, then she laughed and said “oh no great nanny isn’t in pain anymore”. It makes me really upset to know that P2 won’t remember you and all the things you did for her and for me.
I find myself talking to your photo on our window seal all the time. When I’m alone I tend to cry. Today has been one of those days. In fact I nearly cried on the walk to collect P1 from school!
P1 is doing so well. The teacher keeps calling her “the resident artist” which makes me so proud. She’s beginning to read on her own too. P2 has teeth, two bottom and four on top! She’s not crawling yet but she’s getting there.
I miss you Nan. I miss Grandad too, now that I’m in Kent I rarely see him and I’m sorry. I’m meant to be looking out for him now you’re not here and I’m letting you down. I miss seeing you both pretty much every day. My life is so much better over here though, it’s friendlier and calmer. The girls love it and hubby and I love it.
Oh. Yes Nan, I got married on my birthday as planned wearing the most beautiful dress ever, the one you bought me! Grandad made the cake and used a feather from your fascinator on top. The venue lit a candle on your space and it was such an amazing day. I really wish you could have been there and in all the photos.
I love you!