I can’t and don’t want to believe that it’s been 6 months without you. Half a flipping year and I can tell you now that the pain just seems to get worse each day. There’s so much I want to talk to you about. So much guidance that I need, the type of advice that only you could give.
I’ve been feeling a bit lost this past month. A bit lonely. Grandad went on holiday to Lanzarote for a week and he had a great time but it made me a little sad. I wish you could have enjoyed holidays abroad and it probably would have done you a world of good too. I’m really glad that Grandad is trying to live some sort of life without you and I’m sure you have been watching down on him with a smile.
P1 has settled into her new school amazingly and was even in the Golden Book the Monday just gone which meant she had to go up in assembly. Well that’s what she said anyway. She’s started to have school dinners again and I tell you something Nan, she eats better than us!!!
P2 had her next set of jabs this week. The reaction she had to these ones was awful. You text me last year when she’d had her jabs before asking if she was ok. I’ve kept all your texts, well there wasn’t many to keep, but I’m scared I’ll lose them as that’s the last lasting bit of you I can see.
Grandad let me look through your clothes to pick out some that I liked. At first I didn’t want to because I thought it would be too painful but in the end I didn’t want to miss the chance of having a part of you at home. I’ve actually worn a few of the tops, your purple and grey striped jumper and a pink top that you had. I think they suit me just as much as they suited you.
I suppose I could yabber on about all sorts of things but I best stop now before I flood the room with tears. I hope you are enjoying yourself in heaven, P1 still thinks that you are there looking after the children and that you don’t need your robot anymore.
I miss you!
Love Jodie x