Letter To My Nan – 4 Months

Hi Nan,

I’m really struggling this month accepting that I’ll never see you again or be able to feel your warm arms around me as our glasses clash when we hug. I miss you!

Grandad wasn’t very imaginative with the Christmas presents this year, he definitely needs you to guide him on that one. I did all our Christmas shopping too so I guess it’s just a woman’s job!

We went to a garden centre near us this week and I saw a diary in there. It was the same type that you asked me to buy you for Christmas last year. Everything seems to remind me of you and I hate it. Not because they’re horrible memories, but because I’ll never get to actually live those moments again.

P1 has finally had her hair professionally cut, you’ll be pleased to know! We talked about getting it done for years. It looks great and you’ll definitely approve. Her reading is pretty impressive Nan, she still loves sticker books too and Grandad bought her a set of books from the company you used to order from. She loves them!

P2 is turning one in just a months time and that’s crazy. I’m sad that you won’t be there but Grandad has already bought her your traditional Panda cuddly toy. I’ve seen it – it’s amazing!! So fluffy and beautiful. Talking of Pandas, P1 goes everywhere with her one especially since you went to heaven. I think it helps her to feel close to you.

There’s so many things I wish I’d said and done with you. I think this whole situation is made harder because we were so close and you were such a huge part of my life! Especially the past year when I saw you at least every other day. Despite this I don’t have very many photos of you which makes me extremely upset.

I’m sorry that I cry a lot because you are not here anymore. I know you’d tell me off! I love you Nan and am missing you more and more as every day goes by. Is this ever going to get easier?

Love Jodie x

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