Today one of my closest friend went to book herself for a breast enlargement. Go back 6 years and I would have turned my nose up at her and told her to stop being so fake and you should be happy with how you are. Today, all I feel is complete excitement and admiration for her!
Since puberty, I’ve detested my own boobs. I’ve felt embarrassed and upset by them. I describe them as flaps with a nipple because quite frankly, that’s what they are. I’ve always felt embarrassed and worn a bra when getting intimate. It took quite a while for me to feel confident enough to be fully naked with hubby at the beginning of our relationship.
Then I got pregnant. My boobs naturally grew. I experienced stretch marks with P1 but none with the other two. Despite the stretch marks this was the only time I’ve ever been truly content with my own boobs. I went from a 32B to a 34DD during both P2s and P3s pregnancies and breastfeeding days. I filled out tops and dresses and I felt confident. I felt like a sexy woman and hubby, who’s apparently never been a “boob man” was now converted.
I stopped breastfeeding over a month ago now and my boobs are how they’ll always be… Well until I get old anyway. I’m not happy. I can completely understand why my friend has taken the brave decision to get her boobs enlarged. Right now, underneath my top and hidden in my bra are a pair of disgusting boobs. What I thought were flaps before are nothing compared to these!
Since I’ve been discussing the whole breast surgery thing with my friend, it’s been on my mind. I’ve always been against them. Always. But right now I don’t feel that way. I feel slightly envious of her. In a few weeks she’ll have boobs that compliment her figure and make her feel womanly and confident both in and out of clothes. I want to feel that way again.
For now I have to be content with slimming down and toning up. I’ll most likely lose even more boobs then, if that’s possible, but hopefully I’ll begin to feel confident in my own skin then. Perhaps I’ll look in the mirror and not feel completely sick at the person staring back at me.
To be honest, I don’t think I’d feel brave enough to actually have a breast enlargement even if I did have the money to. So there’s no worries there.