“It was weird and I can’t quite work out if I enjoyed it or not”

Hubby left early Saturday morning with a couple of his male relatives to spend the weekend watching Silverstones MotoGP. P1 also left at 9am to have a weekend with her Grandparents. So it was just P2 and me at home. Two whole days, one night, without hubby and P1. It was weird and I can’t quite work out if I enjoyed it or not.

I got a lot done, I look around now and can’t quite see what I actually did which always seems to be the way. Saturday morning I walked down to Tesco, spent our gift vouchers on newborn clothes and bought a few special bits for P2 and me to eat over the weekend. This obviously included chocolate.

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Then I did the washing up, stripped my bedding and put that in the washing machine, tidied our kitchen work tops, sent off my Aunts birthday card, popped into the little shop up the road for some lemonade and a kinder egg, folded away clean clothes and cooked lunch. By the time I actually sat down to rest it was P2s nap time where I decided to let her lay with me on the sofa, for the past week she’s been napping upstairs. I watched a few programmes on the planner and just chilled. Which is how the afternoon followed.

As bedtime was approaching I was getting a little bit anxious. P2 got a bit upset by not having a daddy hug but we managed to FaceTime him and she went to sleep really easily. I felt really lost at that point. I’d had no hubby to talk to the whole day and now there was nothing to occupy me, I missed him. I do rely on my hubby, I certainly take him for granted the majority of the time and not having him there was strange.

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I spent the evening watching x-factor and flicking through the Argos catalogue. I normally go to bed without hubby, but it was a different feeling this time because he wasn’t going to be there at 12:30 when P2 woke up. I didn’t sleep very well. The extra space in bed made me feel unsafe. I didn’t have hubby pushing me out of bed or sharing my pillow. It was actually awful!! P2 didn’t help the situation as she was up every hour. She even ended up in bed with me for half an hour around 3:30am before I turfed her back to her own bed after she shoved her foot in my face! She then woke me up at 7:30 which was refreshing.

I’ve been equally busy today, I think I could be going through a very tiny bit of the nesting phase. I’ve washed up, cleaned the kitchen surfaces, washed down the outside of the cupboards from chocolate handprints, cleaned the bathroom, polished the windows and skirting boards and put some clothes in the washing machine. I’ve had plenty of cuddles with P2 who is doing her usual quiet, lonely routine when she misses someone and hasn’t really wanted to play very much.

It’s really strange how you can miss someone so much. P2 is missing her companions; her play buddy and her provider. I’m missing my best friend and surprisingly I’m missing the tantrums and arguments from P1. They’ll both be back soon and I can’t wait.

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2 comments

  1. It must have seemed very strange. My hubby is away quite frequently but I don’t sleep as well without him there and the thought of him and Jessica both being away is very strange. Definitely sounds like you are doing some nesting too. Love the photo of P2 in her rubber gloves. Hope hubby and P1 are back now and you are all together again x

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