I can’t quite put my finger on my mood today. One minute I’m feeling ok, the next I want to cry then the next I’m agitated, then I’m ok again. I’ve spent the whole day with at least one of the girls touching me or clinging to me. I’ve had P2 elbowing me in the stomach or using me as a climbing frame. P1 has wanted lots of cuddles too which would be fine if she just sat still! Then P2 gets jealous and I’m having to deal with her smacking her big sister on the head. I’ve felt very trapped and cornered by them. But then there’s been the happier parts of my moods where I sat and chatted to P1 whilst P2 napped and she drew lots of jungle pictures.
I also had a midwife appointment this afternoon. Everything’s fine, baby is now only 1cm behind although we know that everything is fine with that now. She could tell I was having a bad day but surprisingly my blood pressure was low as usual. I did get to ask about the hospital I’m due to give birth in, apparently each woman gets their own ensuite room both during labour, birthing and postnatal. This is really shocking to me as back in Essex you were put onto a ward with other new mums and screaming babies, it’s made me feel a little less anxious about an overnight stay.
I know that my mini breakdown is caused from lack of sleep. I’m really struggling to get comfy at night, I’m hot and whenever I do fall asleep P2 wakes me up. She’s been pretty awful the past week! Today has ended with P2 leaning over to me whilst I attempted to get her to sleep for over an hour, kissed me and said “nunight”. I nearly cried but from joy this time.
Let’s hope tomorrow is better…