“I’m feeling utterly overwhelmed”

I’m feeling utterly overwhelmed. So much has happened this week and it’s crazy that it is only Wednesday.

We ended up in hospital on P1s first day of school, we’ve lost my beautiful Nan and we’ve had confirmation of our new house! We are moving. We are moving in just two days. Saturday morning!

Today, we’ve been busy sorting P1s new school and packing. It’s kept my mind full with no time to even think of my Nan. I don’t think I’m leaving myself enough time to grieve for my Nan. It’s the times when everything is quite or I’m alone, random things that remind me of her, that’s when I feel the worst.

A horrible, sickening butterfly clenching happens in my stomach and my eyes go all watery. I hate this feeling. I hate that I’ll never see my Nan again. Never be able to hold her, or hear her voice ever again. I have my wedding dress fitting this Monday and that’s going to be dreadfully emotional.

I have anger, frustration, sadness, sickness and devastation plus many more emotions running through me all at once and I just don’t know how to feel better. Will this pain ever go away?!
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