Does money buy happiness? Can it impact our relationships? I honestly think it does, for both those questions. I was really interested to read the results of a survey done by Shepherds Friendly about How Does Money Impact Our Relationships. My husband and I have always had quite an open situation when it comes to the money in our lives and I wanted to share my experiences below. This infographic sparked lots of conversations between Hubby and I so I wanted to share it with you first:
The Early Days & Dating:
On our very first date, I didn’t have much money but I didn’t want Hubby to be aware of it. So I purposely picked to have a small lunch at KFC (I know romantic!) because I have always had the view that I would pay my own way in a relationship. However, Hubby did the stereotypical thing of paying for our meal, I wish I’d ordered something bigger!
It was very clear from the beginning, that Hubby had a better paid job than me. He was also settled with his money, had no debts unlike myself who was struggling to keep on top of things being a young single mum. Emma says “Don’t hide debt, don’t panic in silence and don’t keep secrets.” So this is exactly what I did. I laid my cards on the table and together he helped me get rid of the debts I’d accrued previously due to buying too many kids clothes for P1.
To be honest him having knowledge in keeping his finances in order did really attract me to him. It was a “man is the provider” situation and I loved that. I wanted someone to take charge, some see this as controlling but it helped me to learn so much more about finances and money.
Now that we live together and are married, Hubby takes charge of all money decisions. Hayley says “We’ve got a spreadsheet – we update it once a month and decide what money goes where, and we decide how to budget any spare cash”, Hubby has all of our income and outgoing things listed and this is on view for both of us to reference at any point. I also love Becky’s idea of having a wipe board that can be updated when things change.
Pete said that you have to “Be completely open. If you hide things, they will eventually come out”. Hubby and I live by that rule. Every little decision that could effect our financial security, including whether or not to buy that little chocolate bar is always discussed between ourselves. I know that sounds a little over the top but our honesty means that if there was an issue we could deal with it together, resulting in less stress for the both of us.
I hope this blog post has been thought provoking. I understand that it’s not so easy to be upfront about something as personal as the money in your wallet. When relationships get serious I truly believe that honesty is the best way to be.
Disclosure: This is a collaborative post.