I am writing this just four days after our big family holiday, but you most likely won’t be reading it until a few weeks later. Holidays are always something I really get anxious about with P1. As she’s getting older she is becoming more aware of her surroundings, she has preferences and can get rather emotional and hard to cope with when those things change. Even in the slightest.
I have to mentally prepare P1 before any day out or holiday. I have to explain various things, let her know the day and give her a countdown. If I don’t then things are likely to be destroyed by P1s emotions and we’ve learnt that the hard way. We basically cannot give P1 a surprise trip or holiday. Ever!
With P1 not dealing well with changes, we start to see her behaviour slip and hyperness to a real extreme flood in when we begin to pack. It stresses us all out as I battle with P1 whilst trying to pack our lives into a suitcase for a week. I find myself at my wits end before our holiday has even begun. It upsets me, but that’s just the way things are every time we pack for a holiday.
We’ve not really been on a long holiday with P1 since she’s been showing strong signs of autism. We’ve endured weekend breaks where her behaviour is unbearable as she struggles to adjust to something that is over in no time at all. She can literally be bouncing off the wall through her body movements and her speaking continuously. It’s draining.
I had better hopes for a week long holiday though. In my mind she would have a couple of days of craziness before settling down for the rest of the week. Thankfully P1 coped so well on our Isle of Wight holiday. Apart from a few episodes of panic attack whilst in a more busy location, P1 was the better behaved of the three. I can’t blame her for her emotions at the end of our busy days and she actually went to bed with no issues except one night.
However, since returning home she has been a nightmare. Like I said it’s only day four of us being back but it’s been terrible. I feel like she has bottled all her anxiety and sensory issues and is emptying that bottle all at once for us. She is beyond normal at the moment and I’m really concerned! She has been lashing out at her sisters, talking non stop with no pause for breath, deliberately ignoring requests, repeating herself continuously and for some strange reason she is demanding food constantly too.
I knew we would be expecting something as she adjusted to being back home but I really wasn’t anticipating it to be this draining. As I write this my MiL has taken P1 and P2 off for some fun in a soft play centre and I am hoping this will wear P1 out a little bit. But the reality of it is, she can’t physically switch her brain off from whatever she is struggling with inside.
I hate seeing her this way because I don’t understand her or how I can help her with these adjustments because holidays are a part of our lives and something I want her to treasure.
From a drained Mummy x